For Everything There is a Season

Each day is something new. It has been that way for months. You think you have it figured out and then the rules change, forcing more adjustments.  No handshakes, no smiles to see, distance everywhere we go. 

It's a grind that never ends. 

But as my state enters its seventh month of this, I see a shift coming. Maybe it's me. I joke that I was done with the lockdown the same weekend it started, but but now I'm REALLY done. 

In March I was angry at what I saw happening, but didn't really think people would put up with too many restrictions, nor did I think politicians would allow, let alone encourage it. I was so very, very wrong. 

And now it's October. Months of monotony has led to a restlessness that is hopefully pushing people to act with strength. And it's time, actually it is way past time, to do so. There is real evil at play in our world, our country, our cities and homes. 

It's hard to say that out loud, but as I talk with people around me, I find that they are thinking the same thing. Because it IS an evil that keeps us from educating our kids, with money we've already paid in taxes. It is evil that keeps our businesses limited and shuttered, some for good. It is evil that keeps us from attending church. My friend said to me via text last week as we discussed churches needing to open that she "desires to see some boldness."  That has resonated with me since. I believe that it is time for boldness. 

I'm embarrassed that I didn't see the evil sooner and when I did actually see it, that i didn't speak up sooner. I think I thought it would go away. And I often thought "I'm tired of battling, of being criticized, of arguing. Someone ELSE can speak up." But here are with evil threading its way through our very communities. I have seen countless posts on FB asking "what is the status of Halloween? Is it still allowed?" There is some scoffing and derision at those comments. Many bluster at the ludicrous of the ask. In my head also am rolling my eyes.  But I'm not surprised at the questions. After all, we've allowed everything else to be cancelled, and we have sat by as restrictions and mandates are shoved down our throats, so these seem to be fair questions. 

The evil isn't a person, although I see my fair share of people perpetuating this stranglehold on our country. The evil is the mentality that is causing so much fear and worry. The anxiety has taken a big hold on our minds and it is wreaking havoc. 

So I'm now at a place where I am longing for normal, for peace and for calm. I'm reminded of Kevin Bacon taking on the town council while advocating for a school dance. (Reminds me of a local school board I know which has been on quite the power trip.)  He takes a verse from Ecclesiastes 3 to prove his point, to convince them that there is "a time to dance." It's a powerful moment in the movie, and while the town council says no (...again with the irony) he and his friends find a way to make the dance happen, because they know it is needed.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven" is how the chapter opens and the words that follow speak very plainly to me. There was at one point, a purpose for a lockdown, whether or not you agree. The purpose was to give our hospitals time to prepare and in doing so, kept people home to "slow the spread." That time is over. We need to move on, to change with the coming season. We need to quarantine the sick, not the healthy.   We need our businesses open and our schools to get back to educating. We need our kids playing sports and involved in clubs and activities. We need our churches open and back to fostering faith and community and outreach. We need to give hugs and smiles freely. We need to laugh, cry and pray together. 

This weekend, I took my daughter and her friends to a pumpkin patch. It should have been packed and instead it looked like a ghost town. I'll be surprised if it is open next year.  This weekend my husband and I went out for dinner at a local restaurant that was barely half full. Nobody can keep doors open while not allowed customers. We went to church together for the first time in seven months. It wasn't "our" church, but it was church, complete with a message and singing and community. It didn't feel normal, but it was peaceful and it was needed. It is definitely past time to push back evil and begin to truly live. 

I'm tired of evil, of sadness and defeat. 

I  desire to see boldness and will be praying others follow suit. 

Thoughts and Gifts

'"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17

It has been a LONG time since I've sat down with a keyboard (or pen and paper) to put my thoughts together.  I went back and reread my old posts from eight years ago and marveled at what is the same and what has drastically changed. Perusing Facebook and Pinterest are still hobbies, although admittedly Facebook feels like a wasteland, especially given the current climate. Covid-19 has taken everything in our world and whipped it together like a "dump it and forget it" recipe. Over the past several years a lot has changed, with some facets staying as constants. Three kids, a husband who works tirelessly, amazing friends, faith in Jesus.

Then I look at what has changed. Those three kids are teenagers or close to it. I've lost a parent. We've had job changes and moved homes. Health scares have permeated our lives. Friendships have changed, either by circumstance or choice. We've had the opportunity to travel to amazing places. Faith still abounds but it looks different and I'm praying daily to rest in His name even as our lives are upended regularly. 

I'm a little pissed at myself that I haven't written it all down as regularly as I'd like, but something struck me the other day. I was writing a Facebook post (that really was too long for Facebook and had no business being there - AMEN) and kept deleting and starting over, thinking about who was going to be upset, who would see it and misinterpret, who would be helped by it. Cliched, but it was like a lightning bolt struck.  I don't really care who doesn't like it or disagrees, but it doesn't change the fact that I have a lot to say and I think it's time to say it. I want records for my kids, I want to look back and see growth and change, not just for myself but for my family, and I want to remember and focus on my motivations for my choices, in everything. 

Bloggers are everywhere, side hustling all over the place. Good for them - for real. But that's not me. I'm usually late to the party on technological trends but I do see a need for thinking that isn't just a Facebook post or a quick Twitter post or a funny meme. (I still love all those things... but substance is good.) I haven't stopped laughing at the blog name I chose all those years ago... I'm not "mommy" anymore but I've leaving it for now. I am in my own lane, though, so that fits. There are some old pictures on here and since I have plenty o' time...I'll be learning how to update and add. Yay for teenagers who will be helpful in that process!! 

Earth shattering experiences over the past several years have shifted and shaped my thinking and I think it's good to share that, because people need to know, more than ever, they are not alone. Daily mundane living has also shaped my thinking and pushed me into new experiences that I also think are valuable. Both deserve attention. 

A big focus for me is health....spiritual, emotional, and physical, among others. In all categories, I am on a journey and writing about those journeys helps me process. I've met some incredible people throughout the course of my life who have inspired me go further, think deeper, pray harder and speak more. They fit into those four areas of living well and I want to honor that. Make no mistake - I have much work to do in those areas, and look forward to learning and creating some new habits.

Our life experiences are gifts, whether they feel like it or not. There is a A LOT that doesn't at all feel like a gift right now but since God is walking alongside me through those experiences, then I want to sit with those experiences a bit more and that is why I am writing. And I'm grateful for those of you who will come along side me for the journey.