Thoughts and Gifts

'"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17

It has been a LONG time since I've sat down with a keyboard (or pen and paper) to put my thoughts together.  I went back and reread my old posts from eight years ago and marveled at what is the same and what has drastically changed. Perusing Facebook and Pinterest are still hobbies, although admittedly Facebook feels like a wasteland, especially given the current climate. Covid-19 has taken everything in our world and whipped it together like a "dump it and forget it" recipe. Over the past several years a lot has changed, with some facets staying as constants. Three kids, a husband who works tirelessly, amazing friends, faith in Jesus.

Then I look at what has changed. Those three kids are teenagers or close to it. I've lost a parent. We've had job changes and moved homes. Health scares have permeated our lives. Friendships have changed, either by circumstance or choice. We've had the opportunity to travel to amazing places. Faith still abounds but it looks different and I'm praying daily to rest in His name even as our lives are upended regularly. 

I'm a little pissed at myself that I haven't written it all down as regularly as I'd like, but something struck me the other day. I was writing a Facebook post (that really was too long for Facebook and had no business being there - AMEN) and kept deleting and starting over, thinking about who was going to be upset, who would see it and misinterpret, who would be helped by it. Cliched, but it was like a lightning bolt struck.  I don't really care who doesn't like it or disagrees, but it doesn't change the fact that I have a lot to say and I think it's time to say it. I want records for my kids, I want to look back and see growth and change, not just for myself but for my family, and I want to remember and focus on my motivations for my choices, in everything. 

Bloggers are everywhere, side hustling all over the place. Good for them - for real. But that's not me. I'm usually late to the party on technological trends but I do see a need for thinking that isn't just a Facebook post or a quick Twitter post or a funny meme. (I still love all those things... but substance is good.) I haven't stopped laughing at the blog name I chose all those years ago... I'm not "mommy" anymore but I've leaving it for now. I am in my own lane, though, so that fits. There are some old pictures on here and since I have plenty o' time...I'll be learning how to update and add. Yay for teenagers who will be helpful in that process!! 

Earth shattering experiences over the past several years have shifted and shaped my thinking and I think it's good to share that, because people need to know, more than ever, they are not alone. Daily mundane living has also shaped my thinking and pushed me into new experiences that I also think are valuable. Both deserve attention. 

A big focus for me is health....spiritual, emotional, and physical, among others. In all categories, I am on a journey and writing about those journeys helps me process. I've met some incredible people throughout the course of my life who have inspired me go further, think deeper, pray harder and speak more. They fit into those four areas of living well and I want to honor that. Make no mistake - I have much work to do in those areas, and look forward to learning and creating some new habits.

Our life experiences are gifts, whether they feel like it or not. There is a A LOT that doesn't at all feel like a gift right now but since God is walking alongside me through those experiences, then I want to sit with those experiences a bit more and that is why I am writing. And I'm grateful for those of you who will come along side me for the journey.